6 Months, where has the time gone? Grateful for every day!

Well, it is good to be back and writing again!  Things have been hectic recently and fall is now upon us.  So much has happened recently that I don't even know where to start.  In the last two months Gracie has traveled over 3,400 miles and covered 9 states!  Not bad for 6 months old right?  Car trips with a baby are unique to say the least.  Luckily for us, she is a very good traveler! 

Gracie turned 6 months old on September 25th and we got to celebrate it at the shore in Dauphin Island, Al with our friends Zach and Nicole (and their baby Lincoln)!  It was a wonderful time and Gracie sure does love the beach.  We are now in October and the weather is beginning to change, a chill in the air, the color in the leaves, the smell of the dirt.....and football!  As every season passes, a sense of excitement is upon us, but with a baby, (at least for me) there is also a sense of astonishment.  Where does the time go?

Have you ever talked to a complete stranger, in a completely random environment, and through that discussion you are led to deep thought?  It happens to me quite frequently, and I believe it is important to have deep, critical thoughts on a daily basis.  Yesterday, Grace and I were sitting in the lobby of the auto shop while my car was being inspected.  There was a middle aged man sitting across from me and he said, it sure is wonderful isn't it?  Such a broad statement can only mean one thing when you have a child, so I replied, yes, she is the best thing that has happened to me.  He then preceded to tell me about his 2 college age daughters who no longer live at home.  He told me that he worked 7 days a week when they were young and before he knew it, they were gone.  I then begin to think....the good days and the bad days...they are all important, and they are all wonderful.  The smiles, the tears, the laughs, and the cries.  Each moment is a memory, an event, and a time that I will hold near and dear to my heart forever.

We often use the phrase "growing like a weed", well it is true!  We are amazed by Gracie's constant development and scared that we might miss something as well.  To sum things up, don't take things for granted, your child will grow with or without your permission!

A 17,000 Dollar Mistake

After 4 months of fatherhood (2 in which I have been the "stay at home", I thought I was doing rather well.  My daughter and I had developed a daily routine, 2 naps, 3 bottles, 1 walk, and a whole lot of fun.  At this point, my wife was working 6 days a week.  This was tough on both of us.  She was exhausted from work and I was exhausted from Gracie.  Babies are tiring aren't they?  Anyways, I thought that I was deserving of an hour of freedom on this early Saturday afternoon.

My brother, Jeremy, lives a few minutes away and is always eager to watch Gracie (when he is not working one of his many jobs).  So I called him up and he was more than willing to come over and stay Gracie for an hour so that I could go hit some golf balls at the driving range. 

Any "stay at home" knows that there are many duties that need to be completed during a typical day.  On this Saturday, I was trying to get a lot done so that Sunday would be a "family day".  I dusted and vacuumed, swept and mopped, washed the dishes and did a few loads of laundry.  My brother then arrived and I was feeling good.  I had accomplished a ton of chores and now I get to hit my new set of golf clubs.  I drove off , heading to the range, which is about 15 minutes from the house. 

About 50 minutes had passed, I had a hand full of balls left to hit, when all of a sudden the phone rings.  It's Jeremy....first thought that comes to mind is Gracie.  I ask if she is alright, and Jeremy says "yes, she is fine".  He then tells me that the washer overflowed and asks me when I will be back.  I had only a few balls and I didn't think much of it, so I pulled out the 9 iron and hit away. I figured it was a few suds of soap, but nothing serious. I then began the drive home, happy with how I hit my new clubs, but preparing to clean up a "little water". 

I made the turn onto our street, headed down the driveway and my jaw dropped.  There was water flowing from the garage, the drywall ceiling was blocking the spot where I park my car.  I run out of the car, the finished basement is soaked, water was pouring from the ceiling.  I bolt upstairs, water is everywhere!  Gracie's room, laundry room, hallway, kitchen, living room.....all wet! 

Needless to say, I was in shock!  I had no idea where to begin.  I ended up calling a water restoration company, which is still working on our house over a month later.  The bills keep piling up, thank goodness for insurance.  The bill was over 17,000 dollars!  Lesson learned, no matter how efficient or clever you think you can be, never leave appliances running when your not there.  I am certain others have made a similar mistake, but man did I feel stupid!

A heart murmur?

The birth of our daughter was the most amazing life event that  I have experienced.  The idea that two people can create a new life, though extremely common, is still hard for my mind to comprehend. The first 24 hours of your child's life provide you with so many emotions and change the way you look at life. After your wife has carried your child for nine months, completed the birthing process, and you get through that first night, you think your set.  Then the pediatrician arrives for the babies first check up.  The nerves set in....you wait and watch while someone that you have never met will determine the health of your offspring.  Silence, chills, fear...he  begins to  speak...she has a heart murmur.http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/heart/heart_murmurs.html  You and your spouse look at each other, what?  How can that be?  What does that mean?  How bad is it?  The questions keep rolling, meanwhile the  only answer you get is a referral.  He tells us that everything else with baby Grace is fine, but that the pediatric cardiologist will be in later to determine what type of murmur she has.

The doctor then left the room, Maggie and I just looked at each other.  How could this be?  Why us?  What are we going to do?  We looked into our daughters eyes and the tears starting to flow.  My wife cried more than me, which is not the way it usually is.  I guess I was trying to be the strong one for her, but it wasn't working.  I was scared to death!

The cardiologist arrived about a half an hour later, he checked her out and determined that she had a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/vsd.html  Basically, a VSD is a hole between the dividing wall of the two pumping chambers of the heart.  Just by listening he could tell that the hole was small to moderate.  He explained that most VSD's this size will close up over time, but sometimes surgery is required.  We would need to monitor her closely to watch for signs of heart failure.  Just what every new parent wants to do.  Heavy breathing, sweating, poor weight gain could all mean that her heart was working too hard.  He then scheduled an echo cardiogram for 2 days later.  Maggie and I felt relieved, to a certain extent at least.  Our feelings went up and down more than the yo yo on steroids.  We realized that we were extremely lucky.  So many children are born with much more serious conditions, however, we still feared for the worse. 

The echo cardiogram confirmed what the doctor had thought, it was a medium sized VSD and we would need to monitor our child's weight very closely for the next several months.  It was very stressful, we had to watch for signs of heart failure in our newborn baby, without having anything to compare normal baby activity to.  It became frustrating at times, every odd sound, every loud breath, every day of poor eating, we would question ourselves.  It made for some sleepless nights and countless discussions.

I can now say that we had our 4 month check up with the cardiologist and he told us that she is doing well and the hole is closing on its own. He explained that the major concerns are over, but it will always be in the back of my mind.  Our daughter will still have several doctors appointments this year and more tests will be run, but our hope is that the hole will close completely and we will be able to put this issue to rest for good!

48 Hours....now what?

Yes, this is a blog about being a stay at home dad, and for the most part, it will discuss stories that pertain to my experiences with Gracie when I am with her during the day but......I feel as though I need to provide some critical information regarding the first few days of Gracie's life. 

Rewind back to March 25, 2011...All the excitement, anticipation, preperation......then she's born!....Now what?  As a father, you feel a little out of place...at least I did.  My wife just went through the most amazing, difficult, and tramatic experience of her life....she freaking gave birth!  Now, she is in a ton of pain and the entire hospital staff is tending to her and my baby.  I felt helpless, out of place, and just plain scared!  The first night in that hospital room was busy to say the least.  Nurses visiting every few hours so even when the baby is sleeping, you're not, Cold air blowing from the vents no matter how high you turn the thermostat, and when you are able to catch those seldom few moments of shut-eye.....bang.....dreams or should I say nightmares about little Baby Grace.  For about the first 2 weeks of her life I was unable to sleep at all.  Every noise would wake me up, silence was even worse.....is she breathing?  I think I asked Maggie that question at least 5 times a night.  It was all different, it was all scary, and I never thought I would get over those feelings from the first few days.  My advice to any dads out there....Change all the diapers, help your wife or partner, and read those pamphlets and books they give you like you are studying for the MCATS!  I think I new everything there is to know about baby poop!  There is black tar, green, yellow, yellow seeded...I was a poop expert.  Why, because I had to be. I had no idea about how to take care of a baby, so at least I was able to chart the poops and pee's and act like I was doing something important. 

For 48 hours I was the poopologist on duty, we had nurses taking care of the Gracie and Maggie, I just changed the diapers and helped Maggie while she recovered.  Then that moment comes when they tell you that you're going home!  Yes, I get to sleep in my own bed!    O wait, ........it's not just my wife and me anymore.....there's this baby thing?  What the hell am I supposed to do now?  Are you sure we don't need to stay another day?  The reality of the situation sets in, take it one day at a time....make the little accomplishments seem big, and learn everything there is to about baby poop!

Amazing Grace

Yes, it is the title of a song, however, I am referring to my Daughter, Grace Caroline.  She was born March 25, 2011 in Asheville NC and boy was that a life changing event!  My wife, Maggie and I could not be happier!  It seems as though little Grace develops a new characteristic every day.  Gracie is now 4 months old and so much has changed in such a short amount of time.  I think back to the first few weeks and remember sitting in bed thinking to myself  "I have no idea what I am supposed to do". There is no real training for having a baby, no preseason, no warm ups.  One day you wake up thinking about what your going to have for breakfast, then you just wake up..wake up....and wake up some more.  Some nights I can remember laying there thinking I am never going to sleep again.  I would sit there searching the internet for answers, hoping that something I would read would allow me to stop worrying about little baby Grace......some of the answers were there, but the worrying never stopped, at least not completely.  Raising a baby is hard, real hard, but a ton of fun as well.  In just four months we have so many wonderful memories and stories that deserve to be on paper...and may even help someone at 3 a.m. when they are sitting there asking the themselves "is it normal for my baby to be doing that"?
Since the name of my blog is "stay at home dad", I probably don't have to tell you but yes, I am a stay at home dad.  My beautiful wife Maggie works as a pharmacist Monday-Friday so I recently quit my job so that  I am able to stay at home with Gracie!  Lucky me right?  I do consider myself extremely lucky, however, this is more on the job training than I have ever had in my life.  I hope to share my stories and experiences and provide some laughs, jog some memories and maybe even give some of you parents a few tips.  Till next time....